Elvis, aka Killer, Strikes Again!

Well, I did it again! I killed another rodent! So, here's the story: I was outside this morning, making my rounds. I knew he was there in one of the birdhouses. I made such a fuss that Mom even put the white birdhouse on the ground so I could stick my nose inside and sniff around. Too late...he was gone! But the trail was still hot so I kept on sniffing. As usual, Presley just doesn't 'get it'. He would rather be in the house lounging on his ottoman, looking out the front window. Mom thinks he ought to learn to be more macho and develop a killer instinct like yours truly, so she put him outside with me. He just stands there, wagging his tail, trying to act interested. Well, anyway, I caught a good scent coming from the gourd birdhouse. I went bonkers and began to squeal and jump at it. Mom finally came out to see what was going on. She thought I was after the little green tree frog hanging on the window screen. Thinking I would shut up and move on, she moved the frog out of my sight. WRONG! I smelled a rat and I wasn't about to move on! I kept on howling so she finally got a clue. I was looking straight at the gourd, about to pee I was so excited! Well, wonder of wonders, she took hold of the thing and gave it a shake. Suddenly, this huge rat jumped out, ran across her hand and hit the ground! Mom screamed and I went for the kill! I nailed him good...bit the whole side of his head off and gutted him in one bite! Meanwhile, Mom gathered her wits and ran after me shouting "Oh s**t...no Elvis, yucky, stop, don't eat him. You'll get sick!" I'm thinking, " Ya, I'm gonna eat him and you're not getting him." She chased me all over the yard before she finally managed to pry the dead carcass from my mouth. Presley finally got on board and tried to get a taste before she threw the thing over the fence. Later, after Mom went in the house, Presley and I found the other side of the rat's face, lying on the patio stones. Wouldn't you know...she came back out and caught us chewing on it...what a spoilsport! She threw it over the fence too!

Oh well, there's more where that one came from! You can bet your blue suede shoes that The King is on the prowl. As for Presley, he has the machismo of Clay Aiken or David Archuleta.....He may take a little nibble but, Killer he ain't, baby!